Another Case for Pilk
Plus, a soda and milk drinks reference CHART.
Originally seen on an episode of Laverne and Shirley and popularized as part of a “dirty soda” trend, mixing Pepsi and milk is not a new concept. But until Lindsay Lohan joined hands with Big Milk, Pepsi, and Santa Claus, Pilk was unknown to many. If you’ve been on the internet recently, perhaps you’ve heard about the polarizing beverage of choice for our comeback queen, as she makes her way back to the big screen. I know I’m not alone in my immediate intrigue. I knew I had to try Pilk. But once my curiosity was tapped, I found myself venturing far beyond just Pilk, to a place no one did or probably would insist I go.
It should come as no surprise that I am a Lindsay Lohan fan and apologist through and through. From the moment I glimpsed her in The Parent Trap (I thought Lindsay and her “sister” were incredibly talented and the concept of the movie genius without the knowledge it was a remake), Mean Girls, her partying days, participating in that contrived feud with Hilary Duff, multiple mug shots, her flee from America all together, her abysmal podcast, to even that incredibly misguided moment where she tried to kidnap a child, I have only wanted what’s best for her. Without the proper protection of her family (or anyone really), Lindsay grew up during an intense period of scrutiny for young women coupled with an unprecedented accessibility to celebrity. We literally drove her out of town, as she relocated to Dubai where paparazzi is illegal, and she can potentially navigate about in peace.
She hasn’t taken on a significant starring role in the better part of a decade, but this year she appeared as the protagonist in the Netflix original movie, Falling for Christmas. I can’t speak with authority on the movie as I’ve fallen asleep every time I’ve attempted to view it, but from what I gathered, she plays a woman that experiences total memory loss following a skiing accident. There’s an inn that needs to be saved from financial troubles, an incredible pink snowsuit, a love interest, and Lindsay is there for it all, doing her BEST.
The movie debuted on Netflix in November of this year, but what captured me MOST about her resurgence was an Instagram post from Lindsay on December 1st. She dons a Santa hat and a Santa-fluff-lined two piece outfit as she pours Pepsi followed by milk into a glass on a coffee table. “Nice….ooh naughty,” she reports as she mixes. She calls Pilk by name and takes a sip. A week later, she posts a video “settling the debate” as to whether or not she actually enjoys the beverage. In it, she is seen assembled for various versions of the commercial surrounded by lights, camera, and action. She takes presumably the first drink of the Pilk mixture and says to camera “it’s actually good.”
Months ago for Soft Earlobe, I tried Sprite mixed with milk for a post about Sprite as my emotional support beverage. It shocked me that it did not repulse. So I was super receptive when Lindsay told us about another soda mixed with milk. But it certainly got me thinking. What about Coke? The far superior beverage (I would apologize but I’m confident no one that will read this will defend Pepsi)? What about Dr Pepper? Mountain Dew? And is it only good with dairy milk or would it be good with other milk or non-dairy products? These are questions no one asked, but I asked of myself.
I purchased five different sodas, plus whole dairy milk, eggnog, and oat milk. Staggering my taste test over the course of a week (even I could not endure this in one evening), I mixed each soda with milk product and took NOTES. And so, just in time for Dry January, I have assembled a CHART containing the pertinent data. Literally no one asked. But it’s Christmas (recently), and Soft Earlobe’s Christmas wish is to dissolve into the chaos.
The TLDR of it all is ultimately this concept is almost foolproof to the open mind. It doesn’t make sense. But most of these were a delight. I genuinely assembled a glass of Pilk for myself to end several days since creating this chart. And it remains to be seen what can eff up a glass of eggnog in my eyes. If you don’t appreciate eggnog, I am just like. Sorry.
Again, seriously, happy holidays from Soft Earlobe. I appreciate you all and we’ll chat next year.
Okay do Four Loko next. 😂 just kidding but the Sprite/Mt Dew was painful to even think about. You’re a brave, brave person. Taking one for the team as always.