Dirty Minne-Soda

Sampling every single dirty soda menu in the Twin Cities Metro area.

In December 2022, I wrote about Lindsay Lohan’s hop back into the spotlight to boost her Netflix original Christmas movie, Falling for Christmas. I watched the movie, but what made more of an impact on me was a commercial she did around the same time for Pepsi. In it, Lindsay sits by a fireplace in a Santa hat pouring Pepsi into a glass. “Nice…..ooh naughty,” she says as she adds Pepsi, then milk, into the glass.

This inspired an experiment at my home, for which I made a CHART, mixing milks into different sodas. Validly, many are wary of adding milk where it does not belong, but a root beer float is timeless and Pilk (Pepsi mixed with milk) and floats are related! And root beer floats, Pilk, and dirty soda all belong to the same family tree! Overall, I was very fond of most of the combinations.

So, imagine my glee when I learned about Swig, the customizable soda shop that is popular in many Southern states (tragically the one nearest to me is states away in Indiana). Sometimes I just browse the menu and imagine what I would order if I was ever lucky enough to visit one.

At least partially due to their appearance in Hulu’s new hit series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Swig and other soda shops have started popping up everywhere. Members of The Church of Latter-Day Saints are forbidden or at least discouraged from consuming alcohol or caffeinated beverages, so soda is very popular. And as sober-curiosity rises, people are in search of something else to sip! Blessedly, dirty soda options have even arrived in our very own Twin Cities area in Minnesota. I’ve been on the lookout for them, prioritizing a visit to every establishment that offers dirty soda by name or recognizable recipe.

To me, the ideal dirty soda is either ambitious in its flavoring or a classic combination with good ratios, offered at an accessible price point, and present on a permanent menu. I’ve completed a few loops around the metro area in search of this ultimate summer beverage. Chronologically as I consumed them, here’s what I’ve gathered.

Sonic

I love going to Sonic, parking in one of the drive-up slots and spending seven full minutes reading the menu - something you can’t do in the drive-thru line if you have any decency.

A couple years ago, when everyone was obsessed with the idea of Girl Dinner, I often thought of Sonic. They’ll fry anything and it can all be ordered in very snacky portions, but for me, their drinks are the stars.

They have slushies, ice cream drinks, lemonades AND limeades, soda, and you can even add Nerds candy to any beverage. So of course they had a dirty soda option early.

“Make it dirty” is how it’s listed on the menu. For $1.30, any drink can be made dirty with the addition of sweet cream, coconut, and lime. And in most moments, I love a crass joke or an inappropriate saying, but I transform into a prude while ordering. Awkwardly stumbling over “make it dirty” so the employee taking my order asks me to repeat it a few times.

Sonic’s beverages arrive in Styrofoam, which I hate, and the lime flavoring is very artificial mixed with Diet Coke as I’ve ordered it. But they have that supreme pebble ice, and the coconut and cream is smooth mixed with the Diet Coke. Plus, the accessibility of Sonic, geographically and economically, cannot be denied. So I will likely return to enjoy another dirty soda flavor. Maybe I’ll add Nerds.

Price: $4.80/Large
Overall experience: 3.5/5

Applebees

With their sights set on the summer that lay ahead, Applebees has had dirty soda available since at least April of this year when I visited with my family. I ordered the appetizer sampler as a main because it’s better than any of the other entrees, and I was thrilled to see the option to add “swirled cream” and whipped cream to any soda on the menu. A photo of Applebees’ exclusive Mountain Dew Flavor, Dark Berry Blast, was prominently featured in the ad, midnight blue and topped with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry. So I ordered that.

It was delivered to the table looking like any dirty soda skeptic’s worst nightmare, the cream coagulated and floated in stark chunks in the dark soda. I gave the straw a good swish and things looked promising again. But this Mountain Dew flavor and cream didn’t blend well together, almost battling each other and sticking to my tongue. To no one’s surprise, this also did not pair well with buffalo wings or artichoke dip. But I have to praise Applebees’ timely dirty soda offerings. I’d recommend ordering Pilk, instead.

Price: $3.00
Overall experience: 2/5

We MATCH.

Taco Bell

I can appreciate a regular Mountain Dew occasionally, but I find their popular variations Baja Blast AND Code Red medicinal at best and repulsive at worst. Yet when Taco Bell added a Dirty Baja Blast to their menu, I knew I had to at least try it. And I’m so glad I did.

Even in the bottom of the large-sized cup, it seems like the employees only drizzle about a tablespoon of sweet cream to the bottom, then fill it to the brim with Baja Blast. I felt disappointed watching this process the first time I ordered it, certain the slightest addition of cream would do little to alter the taste of the polarizing soda. But it really transforms it, smoothing the medicinal bite of the Baja Blast.

I ordered many of these over the span of weeks (stopping at Taco Bell on our weekly trip to my grandparents’ house is a family tradition), and I started to believe maybe they’d remain on the menu for good. But the Dirty Baja Blast was swept from the menu and replaced by their new Refresca drinks. The only silver lining is perhaps the simplicity of the Dirty Baja Blast recipe, as Baja Blast and cream are readily available and this could be recreated at home.

Price: $2.99/Large (tragically you can no longer buy one!)
Overall experience: 5/5

Dunn Brothers

For many reasons, Starbucks is dead to me. But I’ve been refreshing the webpages of pretty much every other coffee shop chain in search of dirty sodas. With their accessibility to flavored syrups and variety of milk products, dirty soda seems an easy and logical add to many coffee shop menus. But Dunn Brothers was the first larger chain willing to give it a try. At the top of June this year, they offered a drink that mixed Dr Pepper, coffee, and creamer and a Mountain Dew drink with blue raspberry syrup, strawberry “accents” and coconut milk called the Blue Raz Dew’d. Because I don’t like coffee (and I’m EMBARRASSED by that so I’m being vulnerable), I ordered the Blue Raz Dew’d for pick-up at their Arden Hills location.

They have one of those cork boards with photos of their employees accompanied by little blurbs about their interests, which always delight me. A young employee named Grace had this sentiment - “I am passionate about: not touching paper receipts with my bare hands.” I read it and thought THIS is what we need to combat individualistic obsession in this society. To see the photos of employees, their names, a little nugget of information about what makes them unique is this clear reminder that people work here. But how do we teach that added element of care and curiosity?? Either way, it’s something other than my phone to look at while I wait for my Blue Raz Dew’d. The paper receipt thing made me laugh aloud, my name was called, and I took my drink to go.

The first few sips were dreadful and I didn’t really want to go on. I’m not often deterred by food coloring, but it really tasted too BLUE. Before I knew it, I had driven home and most of the drink was gone, leaving a diluted slosh at the bottom amongst the melty ice cubes. And THOSE few final sips tasted exactly like Lucky Charms milk, my favorite.

Sadly, at the time of publishing, I see that neither dirty soda drink remains on the Dunn Brothers menu.

Price: $7.15/Medium
Overall Experience: 2/5 – one point for the cork board and one point for removing the Blue Raz Dew’d from the menu. Dunn Bros, if you try again, so will I.

BlueNose Coffee – Farmington, MN

On a brightly colored menu that reminds me of those little disposable paper cups mouthwash enthusiasts kept in their bathrooms in the 1990s, Bluenose Coffee announced they were offering an extensive list of dirty sodas. I’d never heard of BlueNose, but the menu excited me enough to prioritize the trip. I drove thirty-five miles to the southeast to try them.

Greeted by one of my enemies (a patio seating area surrounded on all sides by parking lot), an exterior sign with a mishmash of colors and fonts, and about fifty wicker baskets displayed as décor inside, I was unsure what to expect from the beverages. But the thoughtfulness of the menu (variety of flavors offered and clearly marked for any with different dietary requirements) and the friendliness of the person working at the register won me over and almost had me rethinking my stance on the baskets. They are kind of funny.

I ordered the Pretty in Pink Fizz, a Sprite beverage with cherry and vanilla syrups and coconut milk, and it was delightful and well-executed, all flavors present in every sip. If I find myself back in Farmington, I would definitely return.

Price: $5.00/one size
Overall experience: 5/5

Dirty Sota – Chisago, MN

In what will maybe become a trend*, I took a half day off from work and recruited my friend and fellow Substack-er, Bre of Too Many Feet, to do over a 100 mile loop around the metro area to try dirty sodas.

Our first stop was Dirty Sota in Chisago, very near to where Bre and I attended high school together. This soda shop just opened in May of this year, but their sweet pink interior and Minnesota-themed drink names charmed me even before we ordered anything.

It’s absolutely pouring outside the day we visit, so we don’t get to sit on the shop’s micro-patio (SO cute) but we do rest briefly on the squishy couch to enjoy our drinks. I ordered The Cities, which promised Mountain Dew with passion fruit and strawberry puree, plus lime. Bre ordered the Up North, root beer with marshmallow cream and vanilla syrup. And these were adorable upon arrival, with colorful twisty straws, but I thought both of them tasted mostly like their dominant sodas and little else. When I revisited a week later with my spouse and child, the drinks we ordered tasted more like mixed drinks, bolder in their combinations. So maybe, Dirty Sota is still ramping up.

Price: $4.00/large
Overall experience: 4/5

Kwik Trip

The option to make dirty sodas ourSELVES always exists. I added Kwik Trip to my list of spots to score a dirty soda after a friend (hi, Kelsey!) mentioned she likes to DIY dirty soda at the elite gas station. So, Bre and I tried.

I love Kwik Trip.

The bathrooms are clean, the snack selection is VAST, their Krispy Kreme-wannabe donuts barely fall short of those they imitate, and they consistently have a large section designated for hot food, pastry case, and hot and cold beverages. They have both Coke AND Pepsi products, cherry and vanilla syrup dispensers on the fountain beverage machines, and even more syrups and coffee creamer offered for their serve-yourself coffee. Bre and I grabbed plastic cups and went to combining. I tried Diet Coke, cherry syrup, and the final few pumps of Half and Half in the coffee creamer machine. Bre concocted her own drink, sipped, and reported “I don’t think I should be in charge of my own destiny for the dirty soda.”

And honestly, I agree. My drink from Kwik Trip was my least favorite for the day but wasn’t undrinkable. Maybe I need more practice. And NO ONE can argue with the price for this one.

Price: $1.40/small
Overall experience: 1/5

Sota – Maple Grove, MN

In the absence of a legitimate Swig, Sota seems to be trying the hardest to create a similar experience for their consumers. With their original store in Maple Grove having opened in late 2024, and two additional locations opening this summer (in St Louis Park and Edina), they’re establishing a formula for generating hype and delivering the goods with a larger menu and efficient staff.

Even though I’d seen a few videos online of the popular Sota shop’s line out the door, I was sure we’d encounter very few people visiting in the middle of a cool and rainy Wednesday in June. But there were a handful of people already in line when we arrived. As though we were waiting to board the Wild Thing at Valleyfair, Bre and I shuffled up and down roped-off rows set up for the store’s busier times.

The dreariness of the weather outside extended inside, and very little was done to create any ambiance in the store. No decorations were hung and there was nowhere to sit down. It’s clear the staff’s goal is speed, and they’re reaching it. Patrons paid for and received drinks quickly, and I advanced towards the register, scrambling to figure out which to order.

Blessedly, Sota indicates which drinks on their menus are “fan favorites,” a flotation device for those like me, unsure of what they want to try. I ordered the Raspberry Beret, a drink with Sprite, raspberry syrup and both raspberry and peach purees. While I waited for it to be made, I visited their bathroom, which was perhaps the coldest room I’ve been in since I worked at Arby’s in 2009 and would steal away to the walk-in cooler for a few minutes alone.

By the time I emerged and began my dethaw, a Styrofoam cup with my Raspberry Beret was waiting for me. And the fans of Sota weren’t wrong. It was one of my very favorite drinks of the day, well mixed and brightly fruity with plenty of pebble ice.

Another thing that warmed me to Sota was that most of the customers in the store were teenage girls, and it is one of my core beliefs that businesses frequented by teenage girls should be held dear and protected.

Price: $3.00/small
Overall experience: 5/5

Macarons by Maddie Lu – Bloomington, MN

Macarons by Maddie Lu used to have an awkwardly shaped store on the first floor of the Mall of America, but they’re leveled up quite literally. Now located on the third (top!) floor and right by the West parking ramp entrance, Macarons by Maddie Lu still offers their signature beautiful macarons (the Google reviews of this place are SO harsh – to my untrained palate, these are GOOD) but they’ve added a soda machine and syrups behind the display case.

The store itself is shallow-er, so a line accumulates and sticks into mall traffic. But a lone employee behind the counter mixes our drinks QUICKLY, the line shrinks, and we’re back doing a loop of the mall before long at all.

The drinks have human names, likely in a theme that I can’t identify and I forget to ask. I select the Greta (Dr Pepper, lime juice, coconut cream) and Bre orders the Billy (lemonade with blueberry syrup and vanilla cream) and they are both very good, Bre’s more intriguing and inventive than my classic combo. At this price point and prepared as promptly as they were, I would definitely prioritize them even amongst the excessive beverage offerings at the mall.*

Price: $5.00/one size
Overall experience: 5/5

Bebe Zito - Woodbury, MN

In an area with plenty of ice cream options, I think Bebe Zito is currently offering the best in the state. Though they have a location in the food hall at Malcolm Yards that is basically my back yard, I frequently traveled to their original location in Uptown Minneapolis to bashfully greet Kahlen, a contestant from America’s Next Top Model’s Cycle 4, that worked there until she quit earlier this year to pursue a career in a different field. Emerging from Bebe Zito with a scoop of uniquely flavored ice cream, a bag of their incredible frozen cookie dough, and fresh from yet another deliciously awkward interaction with Kahlen (on my part! She is an angel!!) provided me with immense joy many times.

About a year ago, they opened another location in the Woodbury Lakes Shopping Center. It’s only at this location that they’ve advertised dirty sodas for at least (seemingly?) the summer. And as I’ve come to expect from Bebe Zito, their dirty soda menu offered more ambitious flavor pairings. One with Mountain Dew and green apple and another with root beer and butterscotch intrigued me, but I ordered the Bahahaha Blast, with Baja Blast, blackberry, and vanilla cream.

In the photo on the menu, the Bahahaha Blast is the familiar turquoise of a Baja Blast, topped with light colored foam. But when it was handed to me, the blackberry had turned the drink a darker pink and I had to confirm it was what I’d ordered. On taste alone, this was one of my favorites of the day. The blackberry had a unique fullness that other berry flavorings throughout the day did not. It was delicious, and the price is right.

Price: $5.00/one size
Overall experience: 4/5 (one point deducted because the restaurant was filthy - soorrrry)

Dunkin Donuts

The day after Bre and I drove the giant dirty soda loop, I logged onto social media to see a friend (hi, Franki!) had tried a dirty-soda-adjacent beverage offered by Dunkin Donuts.

Dunkin had partnered with Sabrina Carpenter to release Sabrina’s Strawberry Daydream Refresher. Made by combining Dunkin’s traditional strawberry refresher with oat milk and topped with cold foam, it was a little bit of a stretch to attach it to the dirty soda theme, but it felt too close to miss.

Plus it looked beautiful, online and in person. Absolutely radiant pink liquid capped with a generous amount of cold foam, it immediately reminded me of the summer of 2023 when every single brand had to carry a Barbie-inspired product by law, I think. A quick web search confirmed that Dunkin DID have a Barbie drink.

After making my way through the cold foam, the pink drink was addictive. And not necessarily in a good way. It tasted exactly like Crème Savers, the strawberry and cream flavored candy that was popular in the 2000s and was unavailable for years until their recent re-release. I never liked those candies, but I winced through the rest of the drink, unwilling to stop sipping for some reason. This drink would have a captive audience, but it’s just not me.

Price: $7.50/one size, I think
Overall experience: 1.5/5

Northern Soda Company – New Brighton, MN

In a suburb north of Minneapolis, I drove through a giant parking lot into the very back of a business park to visit Northern Soda Company. Their craft soda taproom is only open on the weekends and looks like any other brewery tap room at first.

Upon entry, I took in the isosceles triangle of a room and waited my turn while Davod, the bartender, showed a couple ordering just how massive their pretzels are. He pulled one from the freezer still in its plastic bag to demonstrate the size. When it was my turn to order I realized with delight that this place only offers non-alcoholic beverages. The taps lined on the bar were all limited-edition soda flavors, and they also offer cans of their more widely-produced flavors for purchase.

I ordered the Huckleberry dirty soda with cherry, cream, and a cherry on top. Davod filled a glass with ice before I asked if I could take the drink to go. Admittedly, I was on my way to try even more dirty soda, but I told him next time I would bring my family and stay for the drink. This place was clearly kid-friendly, with a long table with paper and a big bucket of crayons for doodling.

The huckleberry soda is unique from some of the other dirty sodas I’ve tried, but also familiar. Almost like drinking a blue Tootsie Pop (I looked it up- the blue Tootsie Pop is NOT huckleberry flavored). And because it’s soda made locally with premium ingredients, I’m more willing to pay a little more for it. I only wish they were open more days of the week.

Price: $7.00/one size
Overall experience: 5/5

Cakewalk – Northfield, MN

On the main street of Northfield, possibly the loveliest town in the world state, sits Cakewalk. Though their emphasis is baked goods, I was summoned by the dirty soda ad on the sidewalk sign in front of the store.

I ordered the Cake Float, a combination of Dr Pepper, cake batter syrup, and strawberry cold foam, served with a single gummy ring around the straw. I am such a sucker for a candy garnish, so I was excited by the presentation. However, the cake batter syrup was lost completely in the Dr Pepper, and even the strawberry flavor was barely present. But Dr Pepper with a little creaminess added is still delicious, so I wasn’t unhappy.

My friend, Kevin, picked a Sippin’ Pretty drink, which combined lemonade, “Galaxy syrup” and strawberry popping boba. And like my Cake Float, it was beautiful in appearance, the Galaxy syrup added a little shimmer and hovered above the lemonade and boba in the cup. The lemonade was bravely very tart, a bold move that always wins with me. The Galaxy syrup tasted like almost nothing, but I would drink popping boba out of a puddle probably. So I considered the whole drink a win.

With their ambitious flavor combinations and endearing presentations, I believe a walk by the Cannon River with any Cakewalk dirty soda would improve any summer afternoon.

Price: $6.00/one size
Overall experience: 4/5

While on this months-long, extended dirty soda tour, I couldn’t help but frequently think of Cherry Berry. The frozen yogurt shops opened up everywhere, remained open for less than a decade I think, and pretty much all simultaneously shuttered after the trend of enjoying frozen yogurt with one hundred toppings atop ended. But I miss Cherry Berry and mourn it regularly. In a world with so much uncertainty, the option to consume one of a million combinations of sugary treats is sacred and grounding. I hope dirty soda is here to stay, but I’m ready to be hurt again if not.

Ultimately, I emerge from this venture validated that dirty soda is as fun as I’d hoped it would be. Could most of these drinks be made at home more consistently and to our specific preferences? Yes! But I actually do love to spend seven dollars on a drink and sip it while walking outside, suspended in the moment as though I don’t have a care in the world. And I’ll be chasing that feeling, and trying to duplicate it, all summer.

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* In 2022, Bre and I drove to ten McDonald’s locations and ordered unsweetened iced teas from each. I wanted to know which location had the BEST iced tea before I discovered they use identical processes to make them at every location. As always, big props to Bre for being the best sport.

* It should be specified that the BEST beverage in the entire Mall of America is the Blackberry Hibiscus Lemonade at Piada Italian Street Food. DON’T stand in the Piada line! Just order the drink at the register!!

Dirty Sota’s mascot - I love this little buddy. Also, that phone is not plugged in - I checked.

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